At first I just wanted to wish you all an happy new year but then i realised that the first year anniversary of Gyapo is very close by, the 7th of January. Unfortunately, that will be the week for my finals as well, but it may not be just a coincidence, since this blog, the start of this blog, is what lead me to the school I’m studying in right now :)
Last year, I graduated from High School, left my country for France and started med school but I quickly dropped it because it didn’t feel right at all. It was very hard at time for me, I was living on my own, and the path I always thought I would take one wasn’t what I thought it would be. I was very lost, about who I am, what I would do next, should I go back to my country ? I was also very ashamed of myself because I failed. I felt useless and there wasn’t an once of self-confidence left in me.
I wasn’t going out, always at home, alone, on the internet. The internet was the only thing I had back then. At that time, I had been spending so much time on tumblr, that I had trouble speaking french out loud, and it’s my native language. Sad right.
Then, I decided to try out coding, html/css, because I was bored, doing nothing all day long. I tried and I failed. But I hate loosing and I’m stubborn so I tried again and it functionned, more or less. I was sharing my themes on my blog and bloggers I felt close to used them, I was and i’m still so happy whenever I see a blog using my theme. I had make some themes already and I wanted to put them on a separate blog because it would be easier to manage everything that way.
As thais recommended me to do so, I created a separate account for “Gyapo”. My friends used my themes more and more and even recommended me people who were looking for themes, and I started to appear on theme makers’ lists, i still remember how I felt when appeared on ans’, it was BIG BIG achievement for me, and whenever thais like my themes, or when I interracted with bell or manda, and when aleeza used my themes it felt unreal to me.
As i gained followers and theme users, I regained confidence in me “ah, I’m able to do some things after all”. I wanted to go into pastry because i’ve been passioned by it and culinary arts for a long time, my grandparents had a restaurant and my cousin a bakery, I spent my childhood in the first and my summers in the second place.
But my family was worried for me since i’m petite and it’s a physical work, I discussed it with my Aunt when I went to Paris, and she showed me what being a pastry chef meant, i discussed with one Paris’ great place’s chef and pastry chef, i visited the kitchens and pastry lab. I was mezmerized. We discussed again when I went to Bordeaux.
But in the meanwhile, I was more and more busy on Gyapo and I enjoyed my role as a theme-maker. Gyapo was my pride. My aunt and my cousin felt it and suggested me to go that way : webdesign. I gave it a thought and went with it. I realized that culinary arts was a passion, and I wasn’t ready to confront the active world yet (the formation needed me to study as I start to work).
It was too late for me to try public art school so I passed an interview in a private one and I was accepted, i used presented gyapo as the main feature of my candidature. During the interview, I tried my best to look confident, boosted by the success of my internet life haha.
Now, i’m in a foundation year of applied arts. It was hard at first because the courses were all unfamiliar to me and I didn’t know how to draw at all, but I worked hard, i didn’t want to fail again, and now it’s paying, I’m doing pretty good for the moment. I feel that this path is really what I needed, I enjoy going to school so much, staying up late to finish a work doesn’t feel like a chore at all for me, I’m rather enjoying it haha. I planed to go for visual communication next year, but I’m more and more tempted to go for Fashion design instead, menswear.
In the end, this blog is still my pride and it’s what gives me confidence to go forward and believe in my abilities :)